Whiteknight's 'Four Levels of Cunt' Theory

In life, there are cunts. Rude, annoying, unfunny, douchebag cunts. Professor Whiteknight of Colditz recently published a paper in which he argued for the term 'Cunt' to be split into four different categories, ranked from one to four in level of severity. Warning, this page will advise on how to reach these levels, so for the good of humankind, don't.

Level 1: Light Cunt
Most people will reach this level. Everyone has a moment when they rage at something really unimportant, or do something douchey out of spite. If you do something like this and one of your friends turns around and says 'That was a slightly cunty move' then you've reached Level 1.

Most politicians are permanently stuck on this level, reaching Level 2 if they happen to be a Head of State. An example of a typical Level 1 cunt would be George Osborne, he has the features and the demeanour of one. Picture that in your mind the next time you act like one, that you might be just like George Osborne. Feels bad doesn't it?

Level 2: Regular Cunt
Generally reserved for Heads of State, or minor terrorists, a Regular Cunt is someone who, on a regular basis, does something especially douchey. The stereotypical boss is usually on this level, along with other major people such as Donald Trump.

Level 3: Major Cunt
We're approaching the danger zone now. This is reserved for Dictators, hardened war criminals, and Cenkris. Need I say any more?

But trust me, what comes next is even worse.

Level 4: Super Cunt/Crown Prince of Cunt/It's Over 9000 Cunts
If being a Cunt was a Martial Art, then this would be the level where you'd have to train in the mountains with a Tibetan Monk for years to reach it. Even Hitler didn't reach this level, primarily because he did the world a favour and shot himself before he could.

It is not known how many Level 4 Cunts exist, mostly because the size of their egos block satellites from scanning them. It has been proven that the hole in the Ozone Layer was actually a Level 4 Cunt's ego ballooning over the South Pole due to a strong gust of wind.

To reach it, you must be truly despicable, truly a man to despise and hate, truly a complete and utter cunt. Even Cenkris stopped changing the map at some point. Even Pinochet ran out of people to kill. Even Stalin stopped Fascism. To be a Level 4 Cunt, you must continue, every day of your life, to ruin everybody elses.